The Puzzle

I went back to see my regular primary care physician yesterday. I got my blood test results back, but I'll get to that in a minute. I got up around 3:30am with Aidan Monday morning (the first time since Friday). When I got out of bed it hurt. It hurt a lot. I sat back down for a second and thought to myself, "I'm doing this".So I went in and as I started to pick him up, my hands started cramping and pain shot through both of my arms. I laid him back down. Poor Little Mister was so confused, he started crying harder. I pick him up again, this time with more "oomph" (is that even a word"). I started crying. I sat down in his rocking chair and began feeding him, all the while crying harder. Such a simple thing as picking up my 4 month old baby to feed him made me cry tears of pain. It's not right. It's not fair. I'm only 32. This shouldn't be happening. 

I've been feeling very humbled lately. That man I call my best friend, my husband, has really stepped it up for me. When I say I love that man, it's really more than you'll ever know. Our connection is real. Like from the moment we saw each other. He has done so amazing. Would you really expect any less though? Let's face it, he's the man. Friday night he literally had to carry me from the bathroom, manually roll me over because I couldn't do it, and wake up to give me medicine. Let us also not forget about the fact that he got up with Aidan all night for me both Friday and Saturday, plus got up earlier and let me sleep. He's been doing the dishes, and laundry (which is a HUGE chore in this house). Oh, and that stinky cat litter...ugh. He's an amazing daddy too, but I probably don't need to tell you that. He sat and helped me put candy in the Easter Eggs Saturday night, then scattered them around the house and hid the kids baskets at 5:40 in the morning so that they could wake up surprised. I give him crap sometimes for keeping me up at night with those amazing- soccer, kickball, light switch- dreams of his, but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. I'll take a lifetime of  those kind of nights to have him with me, always. The kids. These amazing kids humble me every day I wake up sick. They take on a lot of responsibilities. Sometimes I feel guilty, I should be doing those things. I mean trust me, they have chores but this goes beyond just normal chores. We've taught them how to use the phones, who to call in case I pass out or when to call 911. As we were leaving yesterday to head to our friends house to drop them off for my appointment, Carter actually said to me, "geez mommy I sure hope you don't pass out while your driving today". Or maybe like Friday when Kayla said to me, "when are you going to start to feel better mommy". Or maybe the times between Saturday and today that I've cried on the phone, in the bed, and in the bathroom. They just come up to me not saying a word and just hug me. My children get me. I feel lost sometimes and they very quickly bring me back down to reality. I just want them to be kids. I don't want them to worry about me. They shouldn't have to worry about these things. 

Okay, back to my doctors appointment yesterday. I decided to make an additional appointment with my primary Dr. Hyson because the pain was still pretty bad and the inflammation was still bad. I could barely move my hands. I talked to my brother for 2 hours on the phone Sunday night and my hands could barely hold the phone. 

My Blood Results-

ANA (Anti Nuclear Antibodies) Positive with a mixed pattern

ANA Titer was 1:80 no reference point

Basic Metabolic Panel- Everything was within normal range

C- Reactive Protein- Negative for acute inflammation

Anti-DNA DS- Negative

Rheumatoid Factor- Negative

Sedementation Rate- Negative

TSH w/Reflux- Normal

Given these results, nothing was made clear enough. Yes, I have a positive ANA but it had a mixed pattern which according to my doctor could still mean Lupus. Had they taken blood work this past weekend those results could have drastically changed, but unfortunately we didn't get anything drawn. Dr. Hyson is still thinking that a diagnoses of Lupus could be in the future but a Rheumatologist is needed to additional testing and make a final diagnoses. He gave me a dexamethasone shot (anti-inflammatory), and a shot of toradol for the pain. He is also going to do a short term Prednisone burst treatment (generally used on Lupus patients). The idea behind this is to see if the treatment helps with the pain and any inflammation I may have. If this works then the odds of it being an inflammatory disease is greater. If it's really just Fibro, this treatment will not work because it's not an inflammatory disease. Read about Fibro vs. Lupus here and here. 

So far I've taken 2 out of the 3 pills today and I notice a big difference in my hands and ankles. My legs are still feeling tender, but this is just the first day. The hair loss is continuing. I only notice the purple toes when I'm sitting with my legs hanging down and my feet are really cold. I'm still feeling a bit dizzy, but the head fog is at bay for now. I now have 4 ulcers in the back of my throat (not to mention the other 3 on the inside of my mouth), and it doesn't make eating or drinking very easy to do. I am gargling with lidacane every 6 hours.The prednisone seems to be helping with that a it too. It's not as painful as it was. My weight is down to 118.6 now, where as last Monday it was 122.7

My mom and dad were supposed to visit for vacation in June but my mom is worried about her baby (what momma wouldn't?), so they'll be here on Thursday. She just wants to help me with the house and the kids. I could never ever ask for better parents than them. I hate that we're so far apart from each other. There's never a day we don't talk though. Like ever. 

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for your showing of love and support. Many of you have reached out to me with similar stories and symptoms and it means so much to know I'm not alone. You all are amazing!

XOXO

Mel